Nobody posts the lonely nights. The laptop on the beach gets the likes. The evening you eat alone in a new town, again, does not.
I wrote it plainly in my book Laid Back Freelancing: freelancing can be lonely. Add constant travel and it can get lonelier. You leave friends behind, you say goodbye every few weeks and your work happens on a screen.
Digital nomad loneliness is common, and it is fixable. Here is what helps.
Why digital nomads get lonely
- No routine. Without an office, nothing puts you in a room with the same people every day.
- Constant goodbyes. You meet great people, then one of you moves on.
- Working alone. Nobody to ask a quick question or share a small win with.
- Distance from home. Time zones make it hard to call friends and family when you need them.
As I wrote in what is a digital nomad, a support system is what stops loneliness from turning into something worse. So build one on purpose.
Stay longer in one place
Friendship needs time. If you move every week, you never get past small talk. Stay a month or more and you become a regular. The cafe owner knows your order. The people at the coworking space ask how your week went.
I write more about this in my guide to slow travel. It is the single biggest fix for loneliness I know.
Work around other people
A coworking space gives you colleagues without a boss. Many run lunches, talks and nights out, which makes it easy to meet people without trying too hard. Hostels with good wifi work too, especially when you are new to a place.
Some of my best connections came this way. I met my business partner on the roof of a five storey hostel in Hanoi. In Lombok I rented a house with a friend I had met in Vietnam, and we let out the spare rooms.
Plan calls with fellow freelancers
You do not need to be in the same country to have a work community. In my book I suggest planning a regular call with another freelancer:
- Set the date in advance.
- Agree a short agenda so the call stays useful.
- Bring one question or problem you want help with.
- Be open to new ideas.
- Take notes and send a thank you message after.
One call a fortnight with someone who understands your work can change your whole month.
Join communities online and offline
Look for groups in your field on Facebook or LinkedIn, and check Meetup for events in the town you are in. Join a class: surfing, yoga, a language, anything with the same faces each week. Shared activities make friends faster than networking events.
Surfing does this well. A line up is a community, and I wrote about the lessons I have learned from surfing.
Keep home close
Book a regular call with friends and family, at a time that works across the time difference. My guide to digital nomad time zones helps you find that slot. People back home want to know you are okay, and you need to hear their voices.
Know when it is more than loneliness
Feeling low for a few days is normal. Feeling low for weeks is not something to push through alone. Talk to someone you trust and speak to a professional if it does not lift. Moving to a new town will not fix it on its own.
The freedom of this life is real. So is the need for people. Build both into your plans and the road feels a lot less lonely.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash.
My free guide to leaving the office behind: the steps I took to build a business I can run from anywhere.
P.S. It is free. Read it on your next flight.
